I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
