Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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