I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
