Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
no, he came in my armpit
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
