I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
