i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
