Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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