They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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