You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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