He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize