Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
