I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
she peed on how many people?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
