So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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