I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
