do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Randomize
