Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
