I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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