you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize