Buhtt sex?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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