So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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