for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize