Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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