she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
