Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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