I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
