dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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