He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
