i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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