I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Randomize
