I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
