; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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