I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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