I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
