He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
