uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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