he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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