i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
