walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't deserve a penis
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
