ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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