I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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