Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
