my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
