cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
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There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
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Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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