My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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