apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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