11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize