hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize