Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
