He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
