I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
