can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
