so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Will exercising make me less horny?
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