the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
