dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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