PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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