dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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