I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
