I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
