How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
